I love my Daughter Sienna very much, and I am in love with the music, soul and beauty of Polish pianist, instrumentalist, singer and composer Hania Rani. The two loves are intertwined.
A Judge has told me that some unjust and painful issues are intertwined, which bothers me, because the word intertwined is an elegant word that has a romantic connotation to it. However, my love for my Daughter and my love for Hania Rani are also intertwined these days. They always will be.
And that is wonderful thing.
The beauty of Spotify is that its algorithms enable us and lead us, to stumble across music that we wouldn’t otherwise be exposed to. I love that about Spotify. It’s a very, very cool coincidence that Spotify led me to Haina Rani’s debut album Esja and her follow up album Home, during this very difficult time.
Esja and Home have been the soundtrack to my custody dispute and separation from my Daughter over the last three months. It’s this echoing mournfulness in her music that resonates so powerfully with me during this time when I miss my Daughter’s presence very much.
I don’t love very many people these days. But I when I do love, I love quite intensely. My love for my Daughter currently feels quite bittersweet. Bittersweet in the sense that we are being largely separated and kept apart by the State bureaucracy and by someone that I used to love (quite a long time ago).
My love for Hania Rani is slightly bittersweet because there is very little likelihood we will ever meet. My love for Hania Rani is beautifully bittersweet because her music often feels mournful, and I am more than a little mournful these days.
I would love to chat to her over a coffee or wines, in a café or restaurant, maybe beside a lake. There is so much soul in her music. So much talent and emotion. It would be very cool to meet her, to get to know her a little. But, of course, the likelihood of that is extremely low.
I feel that her music is very evocative of nature. Of the wildness and beauty of nature. Some of her video clips capture this duality between spectacular nature and her sound so well. This feeling, this vibe of meandering, wandering, being amongst and part of natural beauty. Of marvelling at the wild fierceness of our landscapes.
I’m sure she would enjoy filming a performance here in New Zealand’s great outdoors – perhaps atop a mountain ridge in Queenstown or with her piano secured onboard the deck of a yacht in Milford Sound. With waterfalls falling in the background and clouds of mist drifting across the fjords. It would be so awesome if she recorded an album here, influenced by our most beautiful nature.
There is an ethereal beauty about Hania Rani’s music. It is achingly beautiful, delicate and mournful. There is a remarkable seamlessness about the album Esja. It is a musical journey; it soars, it races with urgency and it occasionally whispers softly and delicately as well. Songs blend and merge and segway brilliantly from one-to-the-next.
Home has this same quality in abundance but with not quite the same perfection of momentum as Esja. To me, Home is a more meandering album. Not quite as mesmerisingly stormy as Esja, but it is definitely warmer in places, delicate and soulful as well. It is also brooding at times, mercurial, beautiful through-out and moving – just like its other half. They are two beautifully complimentary halves of a whole.
She describes her first two albums as two parts of a story. A beginning and an end.
On her website she describes the spirit of Home (paraphrased):
“I strongly believe that when being in uncertain times and living an unstable life we can still reach peace with ourselves and be able to find ‘home’ anywhere’.”
“The song (Home) is about building a new home, in a symbolic meaning, after a devastating event. It’s a composition full of light and hope for new things to come.”
That’s what I am focusing on at the moment, that sense of light and hope for new things to come.
Hania Rani’s music brings me a peace with myself that I can’t get find in anything else. She has maintained my sanity during these most painful and frustrating times – she has been my home and she is my home. At the least, until my relationship and custody with my Daughter is fully restored to its rightful wholeness. At that time, we will toast Hania Rani’s music together, and for many years thereafter.
Hania Rani has just released her third album: Music for film and theatre.
It definitely stands a part as a separate musical entity. It is beautiful and different – as she promised.